J. Elvis Weinstein

Cinematic Titanic: The Alien Factor

Tim Ford, Stoney Sharp

Trace Beaulieu, Frank Conniff

Warning: Baltimore is no longer safe. Meet Leemoid, Zagatile and Interbyce. They're the three aliens whose spaceship has crashed in a small town outside of Baltimore. Soon the town folk are turning up mutilated and dead - and even in polyester pants. Then a stranger arrives to save the day. But is he who he says he is? And what about all the polyester pants? See this film they way it was meant to be seen - on the big screen live with Cinematic Titanic.

Cinematic Titanic: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

sharp-ford

Joel Hodgson, Trace Beaulieu

The children of Mars are in a funk, and nothing on the red planet seems to be able to cheer them up. Martian King Kimar comes up with the only reasonable solution: kidnap Santa Claus from Earth's North Pole and bring him to their planet to make toys for their joyless, listless little green kids. Meanwhile, two Earth children get wise to the plan and are abducted along with Santa to prevent them from talking to the authorities. Luckily for them, Dropo, the Jerry Lewis of the fourth planet from the sun, is there to help them. The fiendish plot doesn't go according to plan, and there's plenty of intrigue, double-crossing, mistaken identity and stock footage for kids of all ages and planets to enjoy. Poorly conceived, sloppily made, and unfailingly bizarre, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is the ultimate Christmas movie-riffing classic (as fans of MST3K know) which is why Cinematic Titanic chose to revisit, re-riff, and release this holiday hamfest with all new jokes. Merry Crap-mas!

Michael Des Barres: Who Do You Want Me To Be?

J. Elvis Weinstein

Michael Des Barres, Pamela Des Barres

The son of a junkie aristocrat and a schizophrenic showgirl becomes a master of reinvention on a 50+ year journey through rock and roll, TV, and movies.

Cinematic Titanic: Blood of the Vampires

Trace Beaulieu, Frank Conniff

The Escodero family is cursed!The mother, whom the Escodero children assumed to be dead, is actually an undead vampire who lurks in a secret basement/dungeon hidden from the rest of the house. When the kids discover this dark truth, all hell breaks loose...literally! The mother bites the son, who grows fangs and becomes consumed with blood lust. Meanwhile, all this vampire activity wreaks havoc on the daughter's romance with her handsome, dashing fiance. It all leads to a foray into the occult that ultimately proves true love can live on forever, but not before a mob of angry villagers and avenging priests take on the Devil himself in a climactic battle between good and evil. Set in nineteenth century Mexico and performed by a Filipino cast, "Blood of the Vampires" has something for everyone: blood-soaked action for the guys, tender romance for the ladies, and unleashed demonic rage for the frightened child within us all.

Cinematic Titanic: Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks

Tim Ford

Trace Beaulieu, Frank Conniff

Things get a bit randy in this version of Mary Shelley's immortal classic about... immortality. Just as our resident mad scientist is about to bring his creature back to life, he is forced to use a sub-standard brain. The Cinematic Titanic crew offer more hilarious commentary as they set their sights on a Frankenstein's castle chock full of angry villagers, grave robbers, and skinny dippers.

Cinematic Titanic: Doomsday Machine

Joel Hodgson, Trace Beaulieu

American spies discover the Chinese have built a weapon capable of destroying planet Earth, a "doomsday machine" if you will, and that they plan to use it within a matter of days. Will the human race survive?

I Need You to Kill

J. Elvis Weinstein

Jim Brewsky, Chad Daniels

'I Need You to Kill,' follows three American comics - Chad Daniels, Pete Lee, and Tom Segura on a six show tour through three of the world's newest stand-up comedy scenes: Hong Kong, Singapore, and Macau. The film explores the anxieties and surprises of taking your act halfway around the world as well as giving a ground-floor glimpse into Asia's newest growth industry - stand-up comedy.

The Fiddling Horse

C.J. Wallis

Heather Matarazzo, David Haydn-Jones

A dark comedy about a woman named Leslie Heart who inherits a horse and, in an attempt to elevate her failing status within her high society circle, trains it to race while secretly executing a long-con with an ex celebrity jockey.

Cinematic Titanic: Rattlers

Stoney Sharp

J. Elvis Weinstein, Frank Conniff

Something is very wrong in the Southwestern desert! It starts when rogue rattlesnakes attack two young boys, and it goes downhill from there. The local authorities summon herpetologist Dr. Tom Parkinson to investigate why the snakes are being such jerks. With the help of photographer and fledgling feminist Ann Bradley, the two of them embark on a haphazard and half-assed investigation – and romance. The hunt leads them to a nearby army base and its uncooperative commanding officer, Colonel Stroud. But when marauding rattlers kill two soldiers, the medical officer on the base can no longer keep silent and reveals the terrible secret, unleashing a chain of events, which lead to all kinds of explodey 1976 action, putting an end to the deadly rattlers. Maybe...