Java

Java (born 1974 B.C. as J Mummy Love) is a lover not a fighter, and

despite being dead, he has insatiable urge to get down. In fact, it is

rumored that he was not found buried alone, but rather awkwardly

intertwined amongst a harem. To regulate Java's libido, the other

mummies have resorted to keeping a George Bush doll in his pants at all

times.